For years, biologists have laughed at sailors for reporting vast swaths of glowing ocean, or "milky seas." Also, they laughed at their funny accents and missing limbs. But now, cold, uncaring satellites have succored the sailor cause by providing real digital evidence of this phenomenon. Behold, a glowing milky sea the size of Connecticut! You can get all the details from the PNAS paper, but why would you do that when aliens are clearly to blame. Silly scientists, why do you even bother?